


She Has A Girlfriend Now

by chellerrific



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (“No I’m an aasimar”), Character Study, F/F, Keg is aroused, Spoilers, Yasha is a troll, beau is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 00:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15377211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chellerrific/pseuds/chellerrific
Summary: This is your Beau on relationships.





	She Has A Girlfriend Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [secondstringer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/secondstringer/gifts).



> Disclaimer that I’m not really trying to be canon-clairvoyant here, I mean who knows if these fuckers are even going to be alive after another sesh or two, only the idea for this popped into my head and Marisha and Ashly have given us these gifts and I’m not going to squander them. The set-up is basically that this is some nebulous not- _too_ -distant future where the missing three have been rescued and Molly has also found his way back to the group and everybody is FUCKING HAPPY BECAUSE I SAID SO. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
> 
> For Jenna, who also inspired this.

So Beau was doing the relationship thing. Cool, very cool. She had a girlfriend. It wasn’t just about the fucking, though obviously that was a big-ass part of it. It was about being together and… Beau drummed her fingers on the tabletop. She still wasn’t entirely sure what it was about a lot of the time, if she was honest; something like having a fuck buddy that you also sometimes cuddled with, even without fucking. It sounded kind of stupid, put that way, but it was one of those things that sounded stupid in theory while being actually kind of fucking great in practice, like cheap booze: literal poison, tasted like shit, made you wake up the next day feeling like you went a round with a pack of orcs in heat, but damned if it didn’t get you where you wanted to go.

It wasn’t a perfect comparison, but it made sense in Beau’s head.

Their relationship thing wasn’t exactly new at this point, but Beau wasn’t really a “relationship” person. She was a “hookup” person, a “one-night stand” person, and perhaps a few times even a “fling” person, but she hadn’t tried relationships much, for a number of reasons. She hadn’t intended to reach the point of a relationship with Yasha, to be honest. When they first met, she only had one thought: _I’m gonna fuck her._ Then it turned out Yasha was not the type of person to immediately fall for Beau’s sloppy attempts at charm, and the quest to get laid turned into something a little more… well, _complicated._ The more she swooned over Yasha, the more she realized how much there was to swoon over. She tried a lot of whiskey to drown the butterflies breeding in her stomach but they were hardy little fuckers. It became, quite annoyingly, the thing that wouldn’t leave.

It was getting easier for her now. She still got butterflies, which she was about to admit to approximately no one, but now they made her feel lighter and a little giddy rather than nauseated and agitated. Even now, exhausted, bruised, and spent as she was from another day on the road, she sat at the table alone and eagerly waited for Yasha, _her girlfriend,_ to come back with their drinks and settle in for a night of idle conversation and maybe at least a little making out.

The chair opposite her scraped across the floor as someone pulled it back, the noise jarring Beau out of her reverie. “Thank god, I am so done with being sober for today,” she said, looking up.

But the person who was sitting across from her was not Yasha.

It was Keg.

Beau blinked a few times, but it was definitely Keg. She was out of her armor and maybe a little scruffier than the last time they’d seen one another, but the cigarette dangling from her mouth was so familiar Beau could almost swear it had to be the exact same one. She looked good, Keg; she’d always looked good, but now she didn’t look quite so stressed or hunted. The careless attitude was more than a façade tonight, and Beau had to admit, she wore the extra swagger well.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I was buying,” Keg said, grinning crookedly.

“Keg,” Beau said, by way of a greeting.

Keg leaned forward across the table a bit. “That your order or are you just saying my name?”

“I—uhh, fuck, Keg. Wow. It’s been a while. I didn’t—I mean, obviously I didn’t expect to see you here? Right? This wasn’t like an arrangement we made when I was drunk?” Because that had definitely happened before.

Keg regarded her with amusement that on anyone else would have been patronizing but on her was only _almost_ patronizing. “I don’t plan anything that far in advance, sweetheart, ’specially not my hookups.”

“Oh. Keg. You’re here.”

They both looked up to find Yasha standing behind Keg, holding two mugs. She seemed as impassive as ever, but there had been the tiniest note of surprise in her voice, one which Beau was now practiced enough to catch.

“If I had realized, I would have gotten you something to drink as well,” Yasha went on when nobody spoke.

There was another pause, and then Beau jerked back to attention. “Oh. Here. Let me—uh—” She stood up, grabbing the nearest empty chair and spinning it around to place it at their table next to her.

“Thank you,” Yasha said, settling into it and handing Beau her drink.

Beau grasped it in both hands and chugged like an initiate. When she lowered the empty mug, she found Yasha and Keg staring at her.

 _Don’t make this weird, Beau,_ she chided herself silently. _It doesn’t have to be weird if you don’t make it weird._

“Heeeyyyyy,” she said loudly, holding out her arms in a gesture of welcome. “It’s Keg, and it’s Yasha, and it’s me, Beau! Look at us. We’re all here together right now!”

“I did notice,” Yasha said. “What brings you here, Keg?”

“Just, uh, happy? I guess? Coincidence?” Keg ventured. “I’m on my way south for a job.”

“That’s good to hear,” Yasha said. “You’re looking well.”

“You guys aren’t looking so bad yourself,” Keg said, her eyes lingering on Beau for just a second too long.

“Never,” Beau said. “We always look good. Right, Yash?”

Yasha nodded, shrugging a little.

“So where’s, uh. Where’s the rest of the gang?” Keg asked.

“Caleb and Nott went upstairs. The others went to look around town,” Yasha said.

“Yeah, and then Nott came back downstairs and left, and is probably getting herself arrested right now. Maybe we should go look for her?” Beau hadn’t intended to turn this into an attempted getaway, but it was a pretty good segue to one if she did say so herself.

“Beau, Nott will be fine.”

“Maybe just looking for some tongue,” Keg put in, then paused. “That… sentence is different out of context.”

“Molly’s back, by the way,” Beau said, suddenly remembering that was sort of big news and also a much safer topic than tongues.

“What?” Keg, understandably, was genuinely surprised and distracted. “How—?”

“Caleb slept with Ophelia so that she would let us make use of her priest,” Yasha said.

The cigarette fell out of Keg’s mouth. _“What?_ Whoa, get it, Caleb.”

Beau laughed, probably (definitely) a little too loudly. “She’s joking. It’s a long story, why don’t I tell you the whole thing?”

“Uhh, no, that’s all right,” Keg said. “I mean—great for you guys and him and all. I don’t mean that sarcastically, by the way. I know I sound sarcastic a lot of the time.”

“Only because most of the time you’re being sarcastic,” Beau said.

“Fuck you,” Keg said cheerfully.

 _Shit,_ thought Beau. Were they flirting? This felt a little like flirting. Beau panicked and played her trump card. “So, other big news, maybe slightly smaller than someone being back from the dead, but, uhh, Yasha and I are a couple now.” She grinned and gestured to both of them like they were on display.

“A couple of what?” Keg said, almost automatically, but Beau could see the realization wash over her.

“Girlfriends,” Yasha said.

“No, I—” Keg shook her head. She hadn’t been around Yasha enough to know that a straight answer was her idea of a joke. “Yeah, that is news! In addition to the guy coming back from the dead. Congrats, on both counts.”

“It’s getting quite late,” Yasha observed. “Perhaps we should turn in for the night, and meet up tomorrow so that you can see everyone else as well?”

“That sounds like a great idea, actually,” Keg said.

She and Yasha chatted amiably as they made their way upstairs to their rooms, but Beau wasn’t paying attention. This wasn’t really a big deal and she didn’t know why she was making it one. She felt stupid and artless. This was what relationships and feelings did to people. Maybe also chugging that whiskey like it was the Hour of Honor hadn’t helped.

As soon as the door was closed and locked behind them, Yasha started undressing for bed. Normally Beau liked to watch this part—liked it a lot—but tonight she dropped her head in her hands.

“I slept with Keg,” she muttered into her palms.

Yasha stilled for a moment. “When?”

“Before she left, last time,” Beau said, forcing herself to look up over her fingertips.

Yasha was regarding her curiously. “Oh. I thought you meant—recently, like perhaps _very_ recently, and I was wondering when you’d had the time. I didn’t think it took me _that_ long to get our drinks.”

In spite of herself, Beau laughed, shaking her head. “No, no. Before.”

“Okay.” Yasha kept watching her. “And?”

“‘And’?”

“Beau, we weren’t together then. You were perfectly within your rights. You didn’t even have to tell me if you didn’t want to.”

“It feels like I did,” Beau went on. “Because… we’re a couple. You and I. A couple of girlfriends.”

“Well I certainly hope you don’t expect me to give you a full list of _my_ conquests in return.”

“No, no, of course n—wait, full list? Are there that many?”

Yasha cocked her head and grinned just a little. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“You’re messing with me,” Beau decided. “You know what that smile does to me and—oh, fuck. Just, I’m _pretty sure_ Keg was angling for another hookup, I mean she basically said as much, and it was weird.”

Yasha crossed the room and began helping Beau undress. “You made it weird.”

“I really fucking did, didn’t I.”

“You did. I get that this is probably an unusual situation for you, but relax. It doesn’t bother me that you’ve slept with someone else before.”

“Hang on, you’re talking like you knew I was struggling down there the whole time,” Beau said, putting her hands over Yasha’s to still them.

“Was it not meant to be obvious?” Yasha asked innocently.

Beau squawked in indignation. “And you didn’t _say_ anything? Step in, throw me a fucking lifeline?”

Yasha tucked a loose strand of hair behind Beau’s ear. “You know how much I love watching you squirm.”

Beau abruptly lost the ability to be angry or think in complete sentences. “Well, uhh, yeah, you are, sort of, I mean…”

Yasha leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on the mouth. “You’re an absolute mess,” she said fondly. “And besides, I did whisk you away in the end, didn’t I?”

“My knight in absolutely no armor,” Beau admitted, a little dreamily. “Hey, since you’re so cool with this, wanna see if she’s interested in a threesome?”

“Bed’s not big enough.”

“It’s plenty big.”

Yasha put her arm around Beau’s waist and drew her closer. “No. It isn’t.”

“Oh my,” Beau said, letting herself go a little limp. “Keg who?”

So this was Beau on relationships. The part of her mind that wasn’t clouded with lust and affection knew that if she were watching this scene, she would be complaining about it loudly, but right now the door was locked and there was no one else to see. And she knew that as attractive as Keg was, she wasn’t tempted—well, maybe by the threesome idea, but that was different, that was only if Yasha was on board too, because they were _partners_ now. That was it, the word she was looking for. Partners.

“What are you laughing about?” Yasha asked.

Beau hadn’t realized she’d giggled out loud. “We’re partners.”

“Yeah,” Yasha said. “We are.”

“So—”

“Still no threesome.” Yasha paused. “Not tonight anyway.”


End file.
